December 2009: With a win over the (1-10) St. Louis Rams, The Chicago Bears kept themselves in playoff contention, improving* their record to 5-7.

(*term used loosely)

Every NFL team plays 16 regular season games a year, so with 12 in the book the Bears were three quarters through their season. Yet, players, coaches, fans and even the Chicago media were still confident their Bears could clinch a playoff berth.

To be fair, it is possible. If the Bears were to win-out in 2009, they would have finished one game above .500 , repeating their 9-7 2008 season (in which they failed to make the playoffs), but still possible…

They would have to start by defeating the Packers…

A week after the victory over the mighty Rams, Chicago hosted Green Bay, and lost. The Bears would go on to finish 7-9, still third behind Minnesota and Green Bay.

What the hell’s my point (other than I HATE THE BEARS)?

It’s this: As of now the Chicago Cubs are nine 8.5 games back in the NL Central. It’s June. It’s the NL Central. The All-Star break is two weeks away. And every Chicago newspaper, sports blog and talk radio station has thrown in the towel. As early as June 11th, even CBSsports.com was reporting that “the season is over.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m no Ron Santo, but aww, geez…

Alright, alright. Between Zambrano’s latest hissy fit, Ramirez, Fukudome and even Lee under performing, and a lack of enthusiasm in the dugout, this team shows no signs of a turnaround anytime soon. But hear me out. Not only have stranger things happened (see the White Sox four weeks ago, or these 14 teams that overcame the odds), but more importantly, WE ARE CUBS FANS. I’m just as sick and tired of the “lovable losers” as you are, but WE ARE CUBS FANS.

As you may or may not know, I’m a Notre Dame fan. And a Packer fan. (You can punch me next time you see me.) I also hate the Bears. I have for as long as I can remember. (When the Bears went to the Superbowl in ’86 I did dress up as Jim McMahon, but this was against my will, and I don’t remember it.) I can justify all of this, but you’re still allowed to punch me first. (I’ll explain while icing my bruises.) At a very confusing point in my life I was also a Sox fan. Seriously, it was a very confusing point, I was also a vegetarian.

That last paragraph probably has nothing to do with the rest of this entry, but my backspace key is temporarily disabled, plus I have this weird fetish about being punched. Ugh, you probably won’t punch me now. Damn backspace key.

Anyhow, back to the Cubbies. The truth of the matter is not that I’m upset about the fans and the media giving up so early. Well, I am, but what it really boils down to is that I hate the Bears, and I hate the fact that the lack of talent from Bears players and coaches was COMPLETELY ignored by all of you idiots sporting Urlacher, Hester and Cutler jerseys. The Bears have SUCKED for years. They’re the Cubs of the NFL for all I’m concerned. No, the Pirates of the NFL – a modern-day suck machine. All of their wins are flukes, with the majority of points scored by defense and/or special teams. They haven’t had a decent QB since I was forced to make-pretend that I was the punky one (who is a pothead btw – ask me for details). Lovie Smith is a COMPLETE fucking MORON. The team would be better off with a high school girls tennis coach. Mr. Hester might run fast, but the dude can’t hold onto a football. Robbie Gould has a hell of a foot, but you can’t win games 3 points at a time. Virginia McCaskey is a dumb old bitch, a hoarder (when you ask about the pothead, I’ll explain) and belongs in a damn looney bin. Since they LOST the Superbowl, the Chicago Bears are the most overrated team in NFL. The team sucks. <— PERIOD

Okay, but back to the Cubs (for real this time)…

I’m not going to argue that the Cubs are the most underrated team in the MLB, or even that they have the talent, chemistry or drive to make the playoffs. But once again, the season is far from over. Even if LeBron decides on Chicago, we’re four months away from the start of the NBA season (and the NHL season). And not that it matters, but if the White Sox make the playoffs they will not win more than 3 games in the postseason (I’m willing to bet money I don’t have on this. Takers?)

At this point, you might as well root, root, root for the Cubbies. Am I the only one who still gets chills every time they play that damn “Go Cubs Go” song? I know I’m not. That old lady in the stupid visor they show on WGN during every seventh inning stretch… maybe it’s the Old Style, but even when the Cubs are down 10 runs, she’s belting out “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”

So what I’m trying to tell you Chicago fans, is this: Drop the whole fair-weather bullshit. Get behind your damn team and stick with ’em.

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